spending time

in my last entry i wrote,
"i can't give much write now" (or something alone those lines)

i spent the next few days wondering what i had meant by that in the first place, realizing it was a simple outpouring of the attitude that i did not like, but kept finding in my heart. i realized that it had been there since december... a realization that there had been things i wanted to do this semester, but am not, nor do i know how i could be.

on the other side of this, this semester is the hardest one i will go through in my program... the most time-consuming one. i do not defend my previous sentiment that i couldn't give much, but this semester does leave me tired.

but i know that sentiment was in the first place not Godly, and in the second place betrayed my incorrect focus, which should not be on something so simple as how much time i can give, but on the quality of how i spend my time.

interestingly enough, small group turned out to be on this topic tonight as well.