i still haven't reconciled

i am increasingly confused by the dichotomy of making people "one of our own", ie, allowing them into my inner circle of friends, and understanding the wisdom of separating from thoes who are not of the same heart.

for example

when i go to a st patty's day party tonight, actually two, where there will be drinking, some of the 'excessive' drinking may occur among people who are within an inner circle of my friends.

someone else may not choose to go to the same party because they feel that it may be 'out of control.' granted that person perhaps does not know my friends in the same way that i do, but will they only see the drinking and not the people?

or will i only see my 'love' for my friends and not what is wisest for them or for myself?

(not that i particularly struggle with the issue of drinking)

Jesus says not to be unequally yoked (whatever that might mean), and the Bible has a consistent message of fleeing from foolishness. though i'm not sure that it means to refuse to be near people who exhibit some foolishness, since Jesus was the friend of sinners to the point of being closest to the scapegoats of society...

in regards to future and faith

i think i've been acting with a measure of foolishness.

busy-ness and injury

i have been busy.

school has been busy.

also i have been injured. that has made things even more busy, as being injured has slowed me down a lot (i have broken my tailbone, a suprisingly difficult thing to recover from).
and i have been tired.

so i apologize for my lack of involvement in your life. i apologize for my lack of involvement in my own life. i would say that it will change, but i have a feeling that over the next several weeks (8ish) it won't.

that is not to say that life has been bad. that is not to say that i have stopped learning or growing. and it is not to say that i have stopped thinking of you.

i didn't count the cost of this semester very well when i came here. after this semester it should be better. i look forward to summer when i will love people and be invoved in their lives again. until then... i will love from a distance and walk down this road.

i've always believed God had plans for me in injury or sickness in the past, and so i believe now. but i have yet to see what it might be this time...